Section Five: Monte Cristo at the Movies, Part 2

Section Five: Monte Cristo at the Movies, Part 2 (1960-present)

Movies are an entirely different medium, compared to books. Most of the time, movies are 2-3 hours, and with a story as complex as The Count of Monte Cristo, some things are bound to be left out. Movies cost a lot of money to produce, and they need to please audiences and make money. I get it.

There are times when I approve of cinematic changes. For example, Man in the Iron Mask, where book-Aramis becomes a complete d-bag driven by greed for power. He lures poor Philippe into a plot against Louis XIV (and later abandons him), lies to his musketeer friends, and causes the death of the overly- trusting Porthos. Talk about bummer ending- one that's bound to cause an anti-musketeer backlash! So the cinematic re-writes made sense: adding a thrilling rescue of Philippe and downplaying Aramis' heel-turn. 

So, back to Monte Cristo at the Movies... there's certain movie-only tropes that come up so often that they deserve their own Plot Points table!

Plot holes by the dozen, setup w/o payoff, payoff w/o setup, new love triangles that could cause post-ending complications, character regression, confusing timeline tweaks and skipping around in time, no "order in the court" with unacceptably crazy things that happen there, or just throw 3/4 the book out the window and make up a new story! Some of this newly-invented stuff is so bad that I'd developed a new axiom: "The further away they stray from Dumas, the worse it gets".

Warning: SPOILERS GALORE!

Le Comte de Monte Cristo. 147 minutes, screenplay by Jean Halain. 1961, pub: Royal Film. Starring: Louis Jourdan. Director: Claude Autant-Lara. Note: This review is based on a 147 minute edit of the movie. I had heard that a longer version exists, which might make better sense. French movies must really hate Danglars! Here's the 4th Danglars-less movie adaptation, with shipmate Caderousse (this time repulsively chonky and hairy ⮜wear a damn shirt, man!) as his substitute. Old Dantes is a short-tempered jackass who throws tantrums in Morrel's office and whacks a beautiful ship model off the mantelpiece. Dolt! The movie trailer misrepresents this as an action/swashbuckler. Instead of the Count as a skilled puppetmaster, it adds fistfights where they don't belong and (of course) the movie-trope Count/Fernand swordfight. The Pont Du Gard Inn scene, magnificent in written form, becomes a silly scuffle between the Count (not his alias, Abbe Busoni) and Caderousse. The Count loses (!) and shouts, "I'll find you someday!" after a fleeing Caderousse. (⮜LOL) It could be the editing, but quite a few things I couldn't figure out: Since the fateful letter was planted on him, Dantes honestly doesn't know anything about it, or Noirtier. So why does Villefort send him to D'if? Who is that police guy Vidocq (⮜non-book character), why is he blackmailing/threatening Villefort over a "secret police file"? Why does he go to Caderousse (of all people) to scheme some more? And what does he want, and what's his long game? How does Benedetto (a Mark Zuckerberg lookalike) fit into this? He's freed by Vidocq (?) and the Count offers him "assets and position" so he can someday "talk man to man" with Villefort. But how does Caderousse know him? Why did they get into a fight? Taking a cue from the 1954 French movie by Robert Vernay, Mercedes knows that the Count is her Edmond very early on, and he knows that she knows. And... (rolls eyes) he tells her at a party that he loves her and they can leave together and "everything is possible". She declines, because she has too much invested in her son, Albert.  Fernand reads about Villefort's misfortunes in the newspaper, and then suddenly he spots an article about Janina. Not that Janina had ever been mentioned previously. Within minutes, Fernand is whisked into a courtroom, and then a witness, Haydee (who just came in from out of the blue) throws charges and accusations against him. What happens to her after the trial? Kicked to the curb? The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!):  Caderousse: Stabbed to death by Benedetto, but in a fair fight. Originally only throwing punches, until Caderousse grabs a dagger from a wall-mounted sword display. Fernand: Loses his swordfight duel with the Count. Injured by a stab wound, he picks up one of Albert's dueling pistols and shoots himself. Villefort: Admits in court that Benedetto is his son, and sinks his head into his hands. Afterwards, the newspapers say he was "struck with madness". Danglars: Adapted out. The ending: My impressions might be wrong- based on an imperfect translation from original French to dubbed German to subtitled auto-generated German to subtitled auto-translated English. From what I can gather, the Count is leaving Paris as Mercedes begs him, "Don't leave meeeee!" His parting words are like, "I'm leaving, and after an indefinite time, once I get over this Count schtick and my head is in a good place, someday I'll be back for you." Ugh. 😡 French Monte Cristo films are usually better than this. This one disappoints. Characters get bad personality transplants. The first two hours have unnecessary scenes (some newly invented) dragged out for too long, and then, in the last half hour, scenes and characters that are actually relevant for the main plot are shoveled in too quickly. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ❌ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ❌ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ❌ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ❌ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ✅ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? Yes. Has newly-created police characters with their own convoluted new subplots, but drops too many subplots from the book! Adaptation Deviation Score: Moderate. The basics are there, but Old Dantes and Caderousse are warped beyond recognition.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 300 minutes, screenplay by Anthony Steven. 1964, pub: BBC (UK). Starring: Alan Badel. Director: Peter Hammond. It's been lauded as "largely faithful to the original plot", which is quite true, but alas, IMHO, it also emphasizes the differences between storytelling via the screen vs. the book. For a story that's truly epic and exciting, this adaptation makes the world of Monte Cristo seem so small, so confined and claustrophobic. Once the show dispenses with the "discovering the treasure" part, it all moves indoors. Everything from the obviously artificial and potted plants for "outdoor" scenes (re-used many, many times) to the lack of outdoor movement (e.g. the New Pharaon landing at port; walking the historic streets of Marseilles and Paris or Rome; riding horses or carriages to go anywhere; seeing a semaphore telegraph from the outside; sailing away on a luxurious yacht at the end ⮜none of that here) just screams, "filmed on a soundstage!!!" and "TV sitcom budget!!!". There are a few scenes that expand on some book events. A new character, Mr. Thomson (of Thomson & French) becomes the Count's ally and intel gatherer and helps push along some of the plot. Another scene shows the Sultan's guards ineffectually stretching Ali's arm out in midair to hack it off, without the use of a chopping block. There's belly-dancing entertainment while the Count and the Sultan (⮜unconvincingly played by older English gentleman white guy actor) negotiate for Haydee's price.  And, in the meantime, there's no Villefort poisonings (???). The Count bizarrely arranges for Maximilian to "abduct" a perfectly-healthy Valentine (whose life was never endangered), and Villefort's madness is contrived, since he didn't lose his precious little boy (⮜adapted out).  The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: The Count gives him a valuable diamond, so he's possibly happy and set for life (?)  Fernand: Shoots himself after his wife and son leave him. ✔ Villefort: Goes mad and starts digging in his yard "to find him" (⮜who?), for reasons unknown. None of his children died or appeared to die. Danglars: Goes broke, kidnapped by bandits, starved, and freed. ✔ This production relies too heavily on close-ups and endless talking (usually in a drawing-room). We REALLY don't need to see Alan Badel's face so often in close-up so we can memorize every line on it. I have to say that, despite being the "closest to the book", the low production values, budgetary limitations and a talkathon-styled script make this a snoozer. For something that requires a 5 hour time investment, this is pretty dry and there's little audience emotional impact and it's difficult to feel anything for these people. It all reminds me of the book-to-movie translation of Dracula (1931 w/ Bela Lugosi), converting it to an endless gabfest in a drawing-room. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✂ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ✅ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✅ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ✅ 12-Danglars' fate ✅ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ❌ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? A few. Adaptation Deviation Score: Relatively minor. Like taking a side street to get to the same destination.

Greven av Monte Christo. 246 minutes, screenplay by Sven Lange. 1965, pub: NRK Television (Norway). Starring: Knut Risan. Director: Kent Nilssen, Alfred Solaas. This was really, really filmed on a budget and is the source of unexpected laughs. The very first scene has a geographically-challenged map of Europe. The Pharaon's landing in Marseilles is a tabletop model ship, with a fan blowing its little sails! Chateau D'if is a tabletop cardboard and plaster model! That said, the camerawork is superior to the 1964 BBC production, without the "up your nose/ face taking up the entire screen" shots of the British show. I don't understand the language, and there's no English subtitles, so I'm attempting to follow along using visuals only. The first part in Marseilles introduces us to Danglars and Fernand, both middle-aged, jowly and pretty long-in-the tooth and Villefort, quite a bit younger and handsomer than the other two. With a quick cut from Villefort's office, Dantes gets thrown into a cell in Chateau D'if, with no boats or outdoor shots of the prison whatsoever. Jacopo rescues Dantes from the sea, they find the treasure together, and he becomes the Count's right-hand man, substituting for Bertuccio. Maximilian (not Caderousse) updates Dantes on what happened to everybody. After saving Morrel's business, The Count and Jacopo travel all around the world (implied with maps and a journal). Next we have the abrupt introduction of Albert, chatting with Max. There is no Carnival in Rome, so maybe they're just talking about it. Once Dantes becomes the Count, he appears with an outrageous bouffant hairdo and looks a lot like Gary Oldman in Dracula (1992). We get an actual scene of the Max and Val love story AND the mute and paralyzed Noirtier (this is very rare in any Monte Cristo movie!) and a possible conversation about his will. In a low-class tavern, Jacopo witnesses a young peasant(Benedetto/Andrea) being arrested by soldiers. The young man receives a note hidden in his bread in jail. The timeline seems muddled. At a party, Albert gets upset by a newspaper article and challenges the Count to a duel. On the field, Mercedes intervenes, explains everything, and the duel is cancelled. Afterwards, Villefort and Fernand's trials occur. Are they simultaneous? Last revenge: Danglars is riding away in a carriage. He stops and walks away to a nearby field and foolishly sits, clutching his money, gloating (why???). He is captured by two bandits.  The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Adapted out. Fernand: Confronts the Count with a pistol after the trial. Learns the Count's identity and shoots himself while in the Count's house. Villefort: Goes mad in his chambers after Benedetto/Andrea tells all and the Count has his "I am Edmond Dantes" moment. Danglars: Kidnapped by bandits, starved, and freed. ✔ The Ending: It ends with the Count and Haydee on a ship, but he's looking despondent. They have a conversation and this is when she says she loves him and THEN he takes her hands and smiles. So... why wasn't this all hashed out before sailing away together? They had 4 hours but some plot threads were carelessly left hanging... No Caderousse at all? What happened to Max and Val? And Noirtier? And Albert? Dropped like hot potatoes? Or was all this exposition handled by someone talking about it? ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ❌ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ❌ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ❓ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ✅ 12-Danglars' fate ✅ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ❌ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? No. But has several dangling plot threads left unresolved. Adaptation Deviation Score: Relatively minor. Some character and scene substitutions to stay within the time and money budget.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 46 minutes, adapted by Michael Robinson. 1973, pub: Hanna-Barbera Productions. Starring: Tim Elliott. Director: Joseph Barbera & William Hanna. There's several animated versions of Monte Cristo, which can be watched on YouTube. None of them are extremely true to the book, and they range from "It sorta resembles Monte Cristo" to "What the heck is this?" So, out of this motley crew, the closest one is Hanna-Barbera's 1973 cartoon. There's scenes where the animation is constantly reused (digging a tunnel. And more digging) and plotwise, any deaths are non-violent and offscreen. It seems really strange, but there is NO VILLEFORT here. Only Danglars, Fernand and Caderousse exist as Edmond's betrayers, and the cast is similarly trimmed back. Danglars has a daughter, but it's not Eugenie- it's Valentine so the Val/Max love story can be present. Everybody is stuck in Marseilles, so any scenes that were meant to be set in Paris are sent back to the ol' hometown. The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: The Count gives him a valuable diamond, but he wants more. He stalks the Count, but clumsily drops the diamond and falls off a cliff. Fernand: Challenges the Count to a duel, learns the Count's identity, cowers, runs off and flees Marseilles with Mercedes by his side (!)  Villefort: Adapted out. Danglars: Is financially ruined and is additionally pissed off when the Count enables Val to run away with Maximilian. So, Danglars has a thrilling (?) duel with the Count at the docks and falls off the gangplank and into the water. At Monte Cristo Island, the Count leaves his worldly possessions to Max and Val and sails away, reclaiming is identity as Edmond Dantes to live his post-revenge life alone (!). Well, this cartoon is not great, but at least it's not horrible. I'd take even this over the corrupted anime series, Gankutsuou, anytime. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ❌ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ❌ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ❌ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✅ 19-Danglars embezzles money and flees ❌ 11-Andrea's trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? YES! Adaptation Deviation Score: Moderate. Still recognizable as The Count of Monte Cristo. Other cartoons don't even come this close.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 103 minutes, screenplay by Sidney Carroll. 1975, pub: ITC (UK). Starring: Richard Chamberlain. Director: David Greene. Not bad, not bad at all! Since this runs less than 2 hours, it doesn't have everything, but it scores more often than it misses. This movie thankfully retains characters like Bertuccio, Haydee, Noirtier (bit part only) and Benedetto. Some plot alterations: Villefort's daughter, Valentine is the one being courted by "Andrea Cavalcanti". There is a younger Morrel (seen at the very beginning of the movie), but he never re-appears as a romantic partner for Valentine. Richard Chamberlain totally SELLS it. As the Count, we can easily see he's a man on a mission, and has the magnetism and charisma to manipulate his enemies into doing exactly what he wants. He smiles, he's deceptively friendly and helpful, and everybody falls for it. Admittedly though, the weakest links are some of the minor characters, with actors with unintelligibly thick Italian accents. Lots of subplots deleted, and what remains makes sense, but completely lacks the complexity of the book's constantly interweaving subplots.The costumes and hair are more-than-adequately snarked on this other website, and they do make a credible case that Haydee looks like Donna Summer! This 1975 movie seems to have been an influence on the later 1977 Marvel Comics adaptation (Jacopo and Bertuccio as smugglers who rescue Dantes from the sea; the setup of the Caderousse/Benedetto smackdown; Danglars' suicide; The Count and Fernand's swordfight in the courtroom), and the 1979 Mitsu Yamamoto childen's book (the Count bests a fencing instructor; Danglars follows the Count's lead by investing in the same dicey Spanish stocks). One large deviation that I heartily endorse is the change to Mercedes' fate. In the movie, she grows a backbone, tells the Count flat out that the Edmond Dantes that she loved died in Chateau D'if, and heads for Africa (Algeria) to join her son, who volunteered for the Army. Resolute and dry-eyed, she bids the Count adieu, and wishes him peace and then she goes. Yes!!! Not a weepy, impoverished, helpless mess, she gets a very dignified ending. The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Stabbed to death by Benedetto in the Count's courtyard, because they hate each other. Fernand: Loses his duel with the Count, and arrested for his role in the Ali Pasha Affair. Villefort: Goes mad in court after Andrea reveals that he's Villefort's illegitimate son. Danglars: Shoots himself after going broke. Even though this was a made-for-TV movie, the production values are as good as any theatrical-release movie. There's real square-rigged sailing ships, a real port, exterior shots of cobblestone streets, fountains and period buildings. People are physically ON smaller boats in the water, and not in studio dunk-tanks or on partial prop ships with fakey backdrops. Once the "revenge" starts, the mostly indoor scenes are interspersed with outdoor scenes (semaphore telegraph, outside courtyard at the Count's house, wooded area for dueling, the final scene at the docks) which makes for good viewing, and helps us, the audience, believe that we're being swept into the 19th century. ❌ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ❌ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✂ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ❌ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ✅ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ❌ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✂ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ✅ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? A few. Adaptation Deviation Score: Not too bad. Has more scenes in-common with the book than not.

Le Comte de Monte Cristo. 350 minutes, screenplay by Jean Chatenet. 1979, pub: Europa Films. Starring: Jacques Weber. Director: Denys de La Patellière. This is absolutely, positively the closest and truest movie/TV series version of the book in existence! It practically follows the book chapter-by-chapter, with the events happening in the correct order, so if that's what you are looking for, this 1979 French miniseries delivers it in spades. Some caveats: it's totally in French, and the most complete circulating copy of it does not have English subtitles. There are a few short clips of it (about 40 minutes, from a different source) that have English subtitles, and those bits and pieces leave me wanting more. The other caveat is the acting style. Once Dantes self-transforms into the Count, he becomes charisma-challenged and has exactly one expression: cold, hard stare. It's a bit hard to imagine him "befriending" and manipulating his enemies and becoming their confidant, as he does in the book. Haydee is a cold fish as well... you'd think that when she has her moment in court with Fernand, she'd show some of that pent-up emotion and anger over what he'd done to her and her family. But when the showdown happens, she could be talking about the weather, and Fernand doesn't seem too fazed about it at all. Danglars' fate is correct, but comes with a sadistic twist. The Count leaves him completely broke and sets an additional condition: He must become a beggar for the rest of his life, or else! Which kinda ruins the message of the book: There's injustice, trials and tribulations, gaining inordinate power, and revenge but there's also forgiveness, redemption and reclaiming one's lost humanity. We don't see the last three in this movie. At the ending, the Count and Haydee don't even look too happy being together. While sailing away, his back is turned to her, they don't look at each other or touch hands. Maybe he's dropping her off at Janina... or something.  Because of the amazingly good script and pacing, this movie contains characters and scenes that just about every other Monte Cristo flick had dropped. Appearances by Julie Morrel and Lucien Debray. Franz lands on Monte Cristo island and meets Sinbad. The Carnival in Rome. The Dappled Grays. Noirtier's meddling to help Valentine. The Summer Ball. All of the poisonings, including little Edouard! The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!):  Caderousse: Stabbed to death by Andrea after burglarizing the Count's house. ✔ Fernand: Shoots himself after his wife and son walk out on him. ✔ Villefort: His awful wife poisons herself and their little son, Edouard, and he also believes Valentine is dead.✔ But his final scene is cut off too early, so he doesn't go mad. Danglars: Goes broke, kidnapped by bandits, starved, and freed.✔ But the Count also forces him to become a beggar.✘ It's hard for us, the audience, to root for The Count, because we want our heroes to have some charm and appeal, which Jacques Weber's Count (with copious amounts of guyliner) does not have. The script and screenplay, the locations, the settings, the ships, Dantes' disguises, and the costumes are all excellent. I only wish the actors were able to convey the necessary emotional element to engage us. As it is, it could be an entire crew of Disneyland's Audio-Animatronic robots (or pod-people) providing all of the "acting" for this movie. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✅ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ✂ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ✅ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ✅ 8-Botched burglary ✅ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✂ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ✅ 12-Danglars' fate ✅ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? Just one, AFAIK: the coda to Danglars' fate. Adaptation Deviation Score: Extremely minor. This is the most book-accurate of any movie/TV series.

The Prisoner of Château d'If (Узник замка Иф). 236 minutes, screenplay by Georgi Yungvald-Khilkevich & Mark Zakharov. 1988, pub: Odessa Film Studio. Starring: Viktor Avilov. Director: Georgi Yungvald-Khilkevich. From 1988, this TV series was produced in the waning years of the Soviet Union. The lead is played by Viktor Avilov, looking like an unattractive cross between Rick Wakeman (Yes), Mike Rutherford (Genesis) and Johnny Ramone (The Ramones, punk-rock pioneers) with a truly hideous 70's Brian Connolly (Sweet) hairstyle. Plotwise, the script can't be truly credited for ultra-faithfulness to the source. Starts with Dantes already at Chateau D'if, so all of the earlier scenes w/ Danglars, Mercedes, Fernand, the wedding etc. are shown in flashback. But the flashbacks are out of order so good luck in trying to assemble a coherent story of what happened before D'if. And the script takes its own set of detours as follows: Edmond and Mercedes enjoy cliff diving. Abbe Faria teaches fellow prisoner Dantes how to dance. This should be useful once he enters high society, but we NEVER see him dancing as the Count! At the Pont Du Gard inn, Caderousse stabs the jeweler, but his wife, in turn, murders him with a meat cleaver. She also dies when she tries to burn the bodies but catches fire herself. Franz is a Peeping Tom. He goes peering into the Count's hotel room in Rome, and espies a skimpily-dressed Haydee. Then he's caught and falls off the exterior window ledge (but not fatally). A new character, M. Artanyak, becomes a spy in the Villefort house, working for the Count. Bertuccio is just plunked in 2/3 of the way through and then we have an exposition dump about his backstory and the crucial baby-in-a-box. But we have no idea about the timeline and when this all happened. Count sends Bertuccio to fetch Benedetto from Luigi Vampa's gang. The punk-ass kid, on his own accord, tries to burglarize the Count's home, and we see some new mysterious hypnotic powers that the Count has that makes the kid drop the knife and run. Bertuccio tries to stop the punk-ass, and is shot to death. Punk-ass is arrested on the spot. The same actor portrays the younger Edmond Dantes and Albert de Morcerf. After cancelling the duel, Albert asks, "Is it true that I look like Edmond Dantes?" i.e. "Are you my Daddy?" 🤣. Eugenie Danglars flees to Rome with her father, but takes up with Luigi Vampa and gloats while Danglars is starved! She forces him to give up a diamond ring for a skinny chicken. After abandoning her Dad to the bandits, Eugenie goes BACK to Paris and attends Benedetto's trial with her mother. Why??? She'd never met him, has no inkling that he's her half-bro so why is she there, instead of having fun times with her new hubby, Luigi Vampa? A hired lackey tries to assassinate the Count, hiding behind some trees with a flintlock pistol. He dies by Ninja Metal Star of Death. Albert and Mercedes return to Marseilles to live in a run-down hovel 😡. C'mon Albert, you doofus! Find somewhere safer for your mother to sleep! The salvation of the Morrels is moved way towards the end. Meaning that all along, Morrel was going broke and ready to commit suicide while the Count was dilly-dallying in Paris with executing his revenge schemes. He didn't bother checking on the well-being of his friends earlier! The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!):  Caderousse: His wife murders him with a hatchet to the back. Fernand: Shoots himself after his wife and son leave him. ✔ Villefort: Gets hit by "slow death syndrome" as Benedetto reveals all in court. The Count relays an "I forgive you" message to the dying man. Danglars: Goes broke, kidnapped by bandits, starved, but not freed. He is left with the bandits indefinitely. The Ending: The Count sails away with Haydee on... The Pharaon? What? Why did he take away Morrel's best ship? Why does he even NEED such a large merchant ship? He's not hauling cargo! What he needs is a fast and sleek little schooner, not a bulky-ass square-rigger! This particular Count is a sociopath. He justifiably wanted revenge, but, unlike his book version, never saw the emptiness of it and never tried to repair some of damage he'd caused. He got the girl in the end, but left a huge body-count of shattered lives- the innocent as well as the guilty and he didn't give AF. Production wise, the entire film looks like it was shot through a "gloom" filter, and the script is also correspondingly grim. It's depressing to watch, and easily the winner of "Ugliest Edmond Dantes, on the Inside and Outside" Award. It's missing a good number of subplots, and the pacing isn't particularly good. The rock music soundtrack which comes out blaring unexpectedly is a constant intrusion and irritation. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✅ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ✅ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ❌ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ✅ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✅ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ✅ 12-Danglars' fate ✅ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ❌ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? Yes. See review for a listing of the non-canon scenes. Adaptation Deviation Score: Not too bad.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 400 minutes, screenplay by Didier Decoin. 1998, pub: TF1 (France). Starring: Gérard Depardieu. Director: Josée Dayan. With a length of over 6 hours, a decent budget, and modern-day production values, this TV miniseries is sumptuous-looking and succeeds in bringing us, the audience, into the era. From a visual standpoint, it exposes the 1964 Alan Badel TV series as the low-budget, badly filmed, dreary talky slog that it is. However, I think that Gerard Depardieu was miscast as the Count. His son, Guillaume, played the younger Dantes. The elder Depardieu took over in the later D'if scenes up to the ending. Gerard Depardieu is a big, burly guy, and it's a rib-tickler to see the jailers carry out what they think is Abbe Faria's body, saying, "he's heavy for an old man who was just skin and bones" (snicker). His very unique and distinctive facial features renders his disguises (as Abbe Busoni and Lord Wilmore) moot- unless people were completely blind, how can they not see through this? The 6 hours is more than adequate to present the story, with all its twists and turns. But, a time-wasting, bad new romantic subplot is added in: Camille, the Count's mistress. Every time she appears, the story grinds to a halt, and my itchy fingers were constantly on the FFW button 😡. THIRTY minutes are wasted on her... screentime that could have been better used for truly important character arcs like Haydee's and Villefort's and not eye-candy fluff. Instead, Haydee is just a plot device, and palmed off to Franz D'Epinay when there's no further use for her. Several of the plot changes come off as "change for the sake of change" and don't improve the story in any way. Dantes escapes D'if, and swims to Marseilles, and goes wandering around town, asking about his father and Mercedes, all while the soldiers are looking for him! He becomes a Count, but still eats like a pig and needs Bertuccio to teach him table manners. Camille, a social nobody, sends out the invitations for "Dinner at Auteuil" (risking having key people decline because... she's a nobody), instead of the Count (the talk of the town) sending them. Why??? The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Stabbed to death by Benedetto "Toussaint" after burglarizing the Count's house. ✔ Fernand: Shoots himself after his wife and son walk out on him. ✔ Villefort: His fate is incomplete. The Count informs him that he is now responsible for trying and sentencing his own previously-unknown illegitimate murderer of a son. We never see Andrea's Benedetto's "Toussaint's" trial, or the fallout that results from it. Booo! Danglars: Goes broke, kidnapped by bandits, starved, and freed. ✔ Camille and the Count break up: "I'm returning you to Mercedes..." (Zzzzz). Once he does the handover of Valentine to Max, and handles the last loose end (Danglars), he rushes to Marseilles, finds Mercedes, takes her into his arms and they frolic happily together on the beach.😡 Such a missed opportunity! The perfect basis for the screenplay already existed- the book by Dumas. If the production team had the presence of mind to start at the beginning, stop straying from the source- which only made things worse, and use the book's ending, this miniseries could have been great, and not just good. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✂ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ✅ 8-Botched burglary ✅ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✅ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ❌ 11-Andrea's trial ✅ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ❌ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ✅ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? YES! Unbelievable amount of time wasted on a new love-interest, Camille, at the expense of more important, plot-relevant events. Adaptation Deviation Score: Not too bad. The scenes that follow the book are truly great. But scenes where they inserted their own made-up crap are obviously and truly awful.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 131 minutes, screenplay by Jay Wolpert. 2002, pub: Touchstone Pictures/ Spyglass Entertainment. Starring: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce. Director: Kevin Reynolds. This Disney/Touchstone 2002 movie, being recent with Disney's marketing clout, had, for better or worse, imprinted on public consciousness. It made money, gotten better-than-average ratings on IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, etc. and had become the source of Internet memes with quotes mis-attributed to "Alexandre Dumas". However, I think it's only barely related to The Count of Monte Cristo. It misses every plot point that even cartoons and children's books have. Even when it's not compared to the book, it has several dozen plot holes and logic gaps so big you can sail a ship through them. The movie doesn't even make sense within its own internal universe! Here's just a few examples of movie-nonsense: Why is Viscount Fernand Mondego working on a ship, and "best buds" with Dantes "since childhood"? Why can he so easily marry commoner girl Mercedes? As if France wasn't concerned with class differences between the aristocracy and the hoi polloi?  All of the Extraneous Swordfights (9 of them).  Dantes visits Morrel too early (before finding the treasure), and leaves a little sack of money (his sailor's wages). This is obviously not enough to save Morrel's business, and further on, we will learn that Danglars has claimed ownership of the business AND the Pharaon! Why didn't Dantes visit later, when he was dripping in money??? How can two men pull a dozen chests of gold from underwater, carry them on a long trek across rocky terrain and overload a little rowboat with them?  How the Count's "revenge" on all of his enemies consists of dangling the Spada treasure in front of them and they all fall for it, lured like moths to a flame? How was Dantes privy to details of Noirtier's Clarion's murder, since he wasn't a witness to it and neither of the 2 culprits told him about it? When Mercedes visits the Count in a darkened room, he bellows at her, "Why did you not wait?" What a dumbass! Wait for what? He already knows she was told he was dead! Did he expect her to throw some voodoo ceremony to bring him "back from the dead"? It turns out that Dantes is Albert's biological dad! See, way back in 1815 when Dantes returned home to Marseilles, he and Mercedes just couldn't wait for the wedding and they had sex. Once Dantes was arrested, imprisoned and paperwork said he's "dead", Mercedes realizes, to her horror, that she missed her period. Fantine (from Les Miz) could tell her all about how their society treats unwed mothers like shit. So Mercedes bilks Fernand into marrying her immediately and passes off the baby as "he came early". Anyone else despise Mercedes for her lowdown and dirty trick, playing Fernand like that? And Fernand is a tool for buying it? This is ridiculous, and now I have visions of a movie theater full of Russians dying of laughter, dubbing it a "magnificent comedy". The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Adapted out. Fernand: After shooting Mercedes (!) (⮜non-fatal, just a flesh wound, ha!) he's killed by the Count in a long, dragged-out swordfight. Villefort: Arrested after being tricked into confessing his part in Noirtier's Clarion's murder. Danglars: Arrested for stealing gold from the Count's ship. In a simplistic ending to an already oversimplified film, the "new Dantes family": The Count, Mercedes and their love-child, Albert 😡, walk arm-in-arm and head for home (where exactly?).  Does this movie have anything going for it? Well, yes. The cast is attractive, and the location filming and sets are great. Everything involving a ship looks fantastic. And... [crickets chirping]. ❌ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✂ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ❌ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ❌ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ❌ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ❌ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ❌ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ❌ 11-Andrea's trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ✅ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? YES! Adaptation Deviation Score: Considerable. Is this The Count of Monte Cristo at all? Nah.

The Count of Monte Cristo. 178 minutes, screenplay by Matthieu Delaporte and Alexandre de La Patellière. 2024, pub: Pathé. Starring: Pierre Niney. Director: Matthieu Delaporte and Alexandre de La Patellière. The year 2024 brought us TWO separate screen versions of The Count of Monte Cristo! It's like having two feasts after 20 years of famine! Young sailor Edmond Dantes from The Pharaon saves Angèle de Villefort, a Bonapartist agent, from drowning. She's holding a letter signed by Napoleon and "Captain Danglars" confiscates it. Once ashore, Dantes sees his beautiful, upper-class fiancée Mercedes, and their marriage plans cause her upper-class cousin, Fernand de Morcerf to burn with jealousy. At the wedding, Dantes is arrested for treason, and it's not entirely clear how this all happened. Later flashbacks will explain it all. We know the general story... Chateau D'if, Abbe Faria, a treasure, escape, a new identity and Revenge Plans. But this movie has an entirely different take on the Master Plan, and how it should play out. Unfortunately, the Plan pales in comparison to the book. Dantes, now the Count, places his entire stakes on huge, one-time only gambits that have too many failure points. It's far too dependent on the motivations and the reactions of overly-emotional and unpredictable Young People, as well as expecting the now joined-at-the-hip Evil 3 (Danglars, Fernand and Villefort) and young Albert to do the dumbest things. A chain is only as strong as its weakest links, and his Plan is very fragile. The Count's two young protégés, Haydee and Andre (Villefort's secret son), fail him by going off-script and their blunders cause Villefort's assassination, Andre's death, and Haydee's rage!quit turn against her mentor, the Count. She abandons the Plan to publicly expose Fernand's crimes against her, and her family in Janina! That's not to say that this is a bad movie. It has several good parts. Pierre Niney's Count captures Book!Count's ruthlessness. He makes effective use of disguises (masks). "Dinner at Auteuil" (riveting and wonderfully spooky) and "Bread and Salt" might be the most magnificent ones done onscreen. "Revenge against Danglars" really does have a delicious irony and a callback to his earlier scam, which the Plan inverted and turned it against him. The acting, excellent makeup, sets and cinematography are fantastic. It's just that this movie has one of the worst depictions of Haydee as a simmering cauldron of resentment: temperamental, unreliable and wishy-washy who doesn't even fulfill her main purpose in the story. Since she is paired with Albert, I honestly can't see a lifetime of happiness for him... not with her. Poor guy.  Fun with the cast and their doppelgangers! The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Eager for redemption. Last seen leading a peasant raid to loot and destroy Danglars' cargo ships. Fernand: Loses his duel with the Count. Left alive, seriously injured and lying in the grass because the Count didn't want to give him the honor of death.  Villefort: Led out of court by gendarmes for attempted infanticide, but is suddenly stabbed to death by his bio-son, Andre. Danglars: Broke after handing over all his assets to the Count and his ships are destroyed by Caderousse's mob. ❌ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ❌ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ❌ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ✅ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ❌ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ✅ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❌ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? A lot. The Major Plot Changes constantly introduce Logic!Fails! and reinforce my axiom:"The further away they stray from Dumas, the worse it gets". Adaptation Deviation Score: Fairly High. But has more book-related scenes and characters than the 2002 movie (Caviezel).

The Count of Monte Cristo. approx 400 minutes, screenplay by Greg Latter, Sandro Petraglia. 2024, pub: Mediawan rights. Starring: Sam Claflin. Director: Bille August. This TV miniseries is meant to "give the series a modern twist while remaining faithful to the legacy of Alexandre Dumas' work", so that means that the audience should not expect 100% fidelity to the book. Things resolve very differently, and in fact, it was rather exciting to see where the modified script would take us. It is categorized as a "drama", intended for an adult audience, avoiding the kid-friendly, non-book, low-comedy of the 2002 Touchstone movie (w/Caviezel). The production and the costuming here is gorgeous, a feast for the eyes. Bowing to 21st Century sensibilities, it really appears that the most problematic parts of the 1846 novel were purposely changed. Just for starters, the Count does not own any slaves. His Master Plan does not include handing out poisons to peripheral players with questionable motives. The cast is racially diverse. Collateral damage is minimized. The Count mostly avoids extra-judicial justice (kidnapping, false imprisonment, extortion) to execute his Plan. The female lead character's fate isn't, "I'm dead inside and I'll cry and die calling your name even though you're gone for good". And he does not drive those he loves towards suicide as a "test" of love and devotion, Neither does he get together romantically with his slave/ward/foster daughter. Sam Claflin's kinder, gentler Count, not being 100% certain of the rightness and justice of his Cause, self-medicates. He's not the ruthless, morally ambiguous anti-hero/near villain that his book version is. But... this  also robs the character of the power of self-realization of what he'd done, and his end-arc of forgiveness, redemption and earning the chance to love again and start anew. Instead, this new TV series implies that a Edmond + Mercedes ship is not impossible, someday.  With a 7 hour-ish running length, budget, production values, great settings, most of the subplots, and talented cast, it could have been the definitive movie/TV series version of the book. But that was never the intent, so the end result is not truly Dumas' vision, but the vision of contemporary writers/team and a work "based on Dumas". It is an adaptation for a very different century, different morals and ending with a very different message: "Love can Heal" instead of "Wait and Hope" The list of all of the changes is far too long to include in this short review, but it's HERE for anyone interested: <work-in-progress! The Fates of the Big Baddies (spoilers!): Caderousse: Does a face-turn and joins the Count's entourage as a spy. Later sent to America for his own safety and a new start in life. Fernand: Shoots himself after his wife and son walk out on him. ✔ Villefort: Last seen cradling the body of his dead son ✔ but does not go mad. The Count quietly leaves and does not reveal "I am Edmond Dantes". Danglars: Arrested and sentenced to prison for illegal stock trading using ill-gotten gov't information. ✅ 1-Morrel family saved from ruin ✅ 2-Franz and Albert's Rome Adventure ✅ 3-Villefort's secret baby ❌ 4-Caderousse murders jeweler ✅ 5-Maximilian and Valentine love story ✅ 6-Cavalcanti impostors ✅ 7-Dinner at Auteuil ❌ 8-Botched burglary ❌ 9-Valentine poisoned by evil stepmom ✅ 10-Danglars embezzles money and flees ✅ 11-Andrea's "Gaston's" trial ❌ 12-Danglars' fate ❌ 13-The Count sails away with Haydee ❌ I-MovieTrope: Albert de Morcerf ❤ Valentine de Villefort? ❌ II-MovieTrope: Swordfight/Duel between the Count and Fernand? ❓ III-MovieTrope: Edmond ❤ Mercedes=4ever? Includes non-canon scenes? Somewhat. The scenes and settings are familiar, but play out differently. Certain characters are removed and replaced by others, sometimes multiple others. Adaptation Deviation Score: low-moderate. This is intentionally meant to appeal to modern-day audiences and tries hard to avoid the controversial aspects of the original..

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